Hipsterz (Because the Letter 'S' is Too Mainstream)

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
(This post is meant as a joke, if you are offended then I am sincerely sorry.)

What defines a hipster? Is it the clothes they wear? The music they listen to? The food that they eat? It isn't these things but how they react to them that defines them as hipster. Hipsters think that they need to do everything first and that because they did it first, then they have rights to it and no one else does. Is this what our culture is coming to? People claiming that they have rights to ideas, which are just abstract, creative thoughts that burst randomly in peoples' brains? Oh wait, that's already been happening. Anyways, you may be wondering how you spot one of these "hipsters" and I'm here to tell you.

A hipster will listen to obscure indie music, like the Lumineers and Bon Iver, and tell you that you've "probably never heard of them." Even if you have heard of them, they will say that they listened to the band "before it was cool." How do you determine when something becomes cool, though? It's most likely the point when it gets obsessively played on the radio by DJs that like to replay music once an hour. Hipsters will say, or at least think, that they are better than you. Because they wear scarves, glasses, and cute little hats, they will think they have better style than you. Do not try to argue with them, because they will not listen. Their mentality is: I wore it first, I wore it better.

How do you avoid being a hipster? Well, pretty much just don't do anything listed above. Don't be self-righteous. Don't be conceited. Don't think you own a band because you listened to them before the radio played them. And don't wear fake glasses, because that's just lame. Real people wear real glasses because they have real eyesight problems. Your little fake plastic ones are clearly not real, and they just make you look fake.

The bottom line is: don't be a hipster. Ever.